a study of the girl

there’s beauty in it.

they watch me drown because there’s beauty in it.

is that the meaning in it?

i can’t find meaning in it. was there ever any meaning in it? please god tell me there was meaning in it.

is my suffering sexual? does your blood rush when my hair is pulled?

you stole the air from my lungs with your bare hands. bare arms.

did you delight in that power?

do you tell others of how you conquered my breath? do they cheer?