chat log 1

 i was born filled with black bile and i will die drowning in it.

i remember very few details of my life. as if it is a tv show that i binge watched years ago and haven’t rewatched since. vague plot points drift to the surface every now and then, forcing me to ask my friends and family for more details. who is that again? have i met them before? what did i say about that? will i ever get my mind back?

i will never live the life i want to live because i can no longer remember the life i once lived. i am living in a twisted type of purgatory in which nothing comes next. i sit with my knees to my chest in a dark room. every few months a flower drifts in through the window, and i chase it until it slips under the door. no fair.

i hate blue light so i smashed my phone. i love blue light so i sobbed as i picked up the glass and poured glue on the mess.

godbless ignorance and godbless oblivion and godbless the people i once loved and no longer recognise.